Saying Hi to the Persona.

2009/11/26, 12:00 AM

Off to Thailand!

Greetings! =D This is my last post before I left for Thailand and before my busy life starts. I will be leaving for Johor tomorrow to meet up with my relatives and off to Thailand on Friday. Might be back 8 to 10 dayslater (>.<) Anyhow, this post will be short. Very tired now. I think I might have fever anytime soon if I don't take care of my body now =S I will definitely miss everyone here, buddies and loved one, although it might not be that long of my absence from Subang Jaya, but as what you say, 10 days is like 10 years =( Again, I don't know the consequences of me writing anything here but somehow, I don't feel like caring anymore. I just want to express whatever feelings I have now here =)

Although I might look like I am willing to leave here for so long but actually I do not feel like doing so. I know that you will occupy my heart for almost everyday during my absence and to be frank, this feeling of mine is all automatic thinking and I don't mind missing you at all. No contact for 10 days is like taking half of my life away from me =( I still have doubts whether I would be able to sleep for the nights I am going to spend in a foreign country. And I am nearly sure that all the writings in my phone will be the best thing I can get to make me feel happy and to make me feel that you are alongside me all the way =)

I know it's tough but I know I can overcome it. I believe you too, right? I know, or maybe I hope that we will be able to get used to it and I am here to book you for a day after I came back XD

My whole family is busy packing while I am here blogging with the lappy on my lap. And again, I don't know what's the consequences for writing this here but, take care and I hope that when I come back, you are still who you are, but of course, a lot more happier than you were today =) In the final note, I sincerely pray and hope that this vacation will be a safe and happy one.

2009/11/24, 11:53 PM

Random (24/11/2009)

Something random. I am too bored =p Inspiration from Facebook (Friends Fact Application). Chose Yes or No.

Do you think Jia Xin will help an elderly cross the road? Yes

Do you think Shanon Lau would go bungee jumping? Yes

Do you think Lim Yee is a flirt? No

Do you think Ming Ching sings when drunk? Yes

Do you think Joon Siang is tone deaf? No

Do you think Chew Yu Shaun is vain? No

Have you ever have a dream about Adele Ng? No

Do you think Koh Yin Yan is dependable? Yes

Do you think Yvonne Ang is selfish? No

Do you think Ang Su Yiin has a bad haircut? No

Do you think Jeremy Chua has a bad haircut? No

Do you think Ying Ying is an ego-maniac? No

Do you think Carrie Chen will let you cheat off their paper in exams? No

Does Kit Yew had gotten better looking with age? Yes

Do you think Josephine Chong had ever watched porn? No

Do you think Kok Han have a funny looking nose? No

Do you think Min Shen have smelly feet? No

Do you think Tze Cheng would shoot someone? No

Do you think Penny Tee can be a gangster? Yes

Do you think Lai Kar Mun had stolen any money from her friends? No

2009/11/20, 11:38 AM

Sleeping Disorder

*11.38 a.m.*

I had problems sleeping again. After the eating disorder, now comes the sleeping disorder?! *wails* I wonder why I feel so sleepy and suddenly loved my bed so super much during my exam period? And now I wonder where does all these sleep bugs go when the holidays started? Argh. Anyway, jumped into bed at 1.30 a.m. and started rolling. Really can't sleep at all. Was tossing around, persuading myself to sleep while my brain just can't stopped whispering to me : Wake up, it's early. =.= I told you, my brain works against my heart. And it's proven TRUE! *wails again* So I tossed and tossed and rolled and rolled. Then finally I took my phone and looked at the time -- 2.20 a.m. Huh?! Since when time passed that fast?! O.O Okay, so I rolled in bed for an hour, marvelous me C= And so I took my MP3 and plugged in. Hopefully music will play the trick this time, and so this time, rolled and tossed again, but with music as the new buddy. Can't sleep. Urgh. Looked at the time -- 3.35 a.m. Oh gosh, another hour gone. Suspended music solution immediately and wailed again T.T I remembered the last time I checked the time it was around 5.30 a.m. and I am perfectly sure that I had fell asleep at around 6.00 a.m. Great. The time when people wake up I only started to sleep. Ahh, can't imagine that such a wonderful human being like me actually exists kekeke (perasan)

This is an old post. I found it in my draft and decided to upload it. I am lazy, yeah, no need to tell me that (>.<)

Labels: Random

2009/11/18, 11:59 PM

Semester 2 Results Released

It was a tough night. 2 days before I had already experiencing sleeping disorder. No matter how much I tried not to think about it, it was just a no use. I knew that everything had been taken care of and now I just need to face the consequences but it was just useless. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that everything will be fine, it was just no use. A night before, before the clock strikes 12.00 a.m., I felt nervousness in me as if I never felt nervous before in my whole life. Compared to last semester, this time was much more tension. I suddenly felt myself so lack of confidence that I was sure that I can hear my own heartbeat and that I had nearly suffocated. If not because of you who had stayed by my side and had comforted me when I needed it so much, I wouldn't had calmed down and started to take a deep breath, once and once again convincing myself that everything will be good.

It was really a tough night. I was rolling in my bed as usual, trying to convince myself to get some sleep until I finally obtained the piece of paper. But I can't. The tension and fear aroused in me immediately once I closed my eyes. The feeling was so hurtful and so scary, just like the feeling when I am going to lose someone really really dearly. Then I woke up. I knew that if I stayed in bed any longer I am going to become insane.

Ivan and I were doing countdown. Based on our last semester's experience, we knew that the result will come out at 3.00 a.m. And it really did. I was shivering so much when I logged in to the website. And when the results were displayed in front of me, I only had the O.O expression. It was far beyond what I expected. It was like, definitely not what I expected. It was kinda unbelievable. I kept on refreshing, in case there was a system error or something like that, but the same page kept on remained as it was.

I expected far more worse than this. I never expect an A+ in Communication Law and I never expected an A for Social Psychology. Instead, I was expecting to see a beautiful B in the Social Psychology grade column. It was just so unbelievable. I thought something must had gone wrong. But I don't know what is it.

Later on, I off my laptop and jumped back to bed. I can't sleep at all. I thought I could but I can't. Not that I am not happy with the results, but I was still in shock and I was still worried. Once again, I hoped so hard and I kept on telling myself that everything will be fine. I know. Ask me why? Don't. Because I just know. But I can't deceive myself by words in my head itself. I know that my heart was working against my brain. And thus, I can't sleep.

6.00 a.m. When I heard my mom opened the bedroom door, I got up at once. I can't stand to keep on stressing myself in bed anymore. I told my parents. They gave me the 'well, you should do something like this or else what for you took the course?' expression. Thus, you can imagine what will happen if something bad happened. And you know why I was so scared and so tensed. I felt like my tummy had betrayed me the whole morning. It was very upset and I felt like vomiting the whole morning. Not to mention that my mind was in a blur state and my eyes were sore and blur, until I went to college =D

I looked at the result slip. But I didn't know what emotion I had at that time. I was quite surprised that I didn't really feel that excited. I don't know what happened but at that time, I felt like I didn't care about myself that much anymore. Me myself did not seem to be the main priority anymore. I realized that. But then, somehow, I felt happy. I felt that I am the luckiest person in the entire world =D Everything turned out fine. I was so glad that I forgot all my 24-hours-no-sleep tiredness. I felt like this time, everything is going to be perfectly fine =)

I just want to say, thanks for being there and thanks for everything. I would had faced emotion swing or even worse, all the disorders in the world (well, pretty much exaggerating lol). You know who you are *winks* I don't know whether I should care about the consequences by writing this here but I assume that no one will be here since my blog is already facing half-dead situation now =S But you know and I know, right? Don't dare to write more hehe.

What I can say is, I cherish and I love <3

I Can't Fall Asleep Because I Realised Reality is Finally Better than Dreams =D

Labels: College

2009/11/17, 3:25 AM

2nd Semester Releasing Soon >.<

I am having depression now. Why? 2nd semester results coming soon, tomorrow, less than 24 hours. Urgh. Tension + stress + scared + nervous = Sleepless night. What time is it now? 3.27 a.m. and I don't feel like sleeping at all. I realized I did not feel that tension when my 1st semester's results released. But maybe due to the 1st semester's result, I am feeling so tensed now. And of course, as usual, the main source of the tension would be none other than my family. I don't really like the idea of it. I feel more stressed up than the time when I did my assignments, presentations, tests and exams. I really pray hard on luck this time. I made a big mistake/decision along the way. And now I am regretting, which I shouldn't be. It is so tensed up now that I think I will faint when I take the official result from the exam office. Urgh. I know if I did not meet the family's expectation, I would get blamed for everything. Even with things that do not make sense at all. I know. It always happen. It's not easy, ya' know. Seriously not. How many tough times we had to get through? How many endless nights? I had loss count. I just know that, even though we might had put in tons and tons of efforts, sometimes the outcome is just out of our control. But I do believe that hardwork will always pay. Not all the time but most of the time. It was tough. And it was not easy. But I am happy to say that, I worked hard. I put in the effort I was supposed to put in. Although it was tough but I tried.

I really really pray and hope hard that everything will be fine. I don't know what I can do when something bad happens. I think life will be even more tougher for me. I know it. It's past experience. And that means I had experienced it. I really hope and hope that everything will turn out fine. Please let everything turn out fine =(

Labels: College

2009/11/14, 3:40 PM

2012

Guess I really have to update. (Yes you have to update, oh gosh). So basically, I just woke up, and it was 3.00 p.m. muahaha. Ask me what I did last night. Actually nothing much also. Just that I slept at around 2.00 a.m. and in the end I used up 13 hours just for sleeping. Suddenly feeling amused of herself lol! Okay this is not the main topic for this post. Finally watched 2012! Well, people had been talking about it, like how longing they are, how amazing it is so yesterday, our usual gang (me, Kok Han, Ivan, Afiqah & Abang Loong) went to Pyramid for the movie =D

Thanks to Ivan, we had our tickets booked earlier so we do not need to worry about the seatings =) 10.45 a.m. Haha. Nice timing huh? Went in the cinema with a blur mind and a kinda-blur eyes (>.<)

Rated 8.5/10
The movie was great and it will be greater if it's in 3D. I wonder whether why there was no 3D version? =( Anyhow, it was nice and yeah. Currently running out of words lol. I knew about the end of world saying but just how true it is? If our world is going to end on the 21st December 2012, I guess the last thing I will do is stay close to all the beloved ones and die together XD Well, to be frank, I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of the way of death.

Today another rotting day. You realise must post today is kinda laggy right? Yeah my brain is not functioning well at the moment so... SORRY! XD XD Maybe I will write better next time teehee~

That's all folks! Tata! =D

Tuning In To: Conspiracy (D.Gray Man OST)

If You Can't Find Something to Live For, You Best Find Something to Die For

Labels: Movie

2009/11/10, 1:09 PM

Yamcha Session with th Gang XD

Good morning everyone! *coughs* Sorry, good afternoon (>.<) I ~~woke up late~~ oversleep today argh. Haha never mind since it is still the holiday and holiday is meant for us to be rotten (wrong fact, no learn from me small kids XD). I am half rotten, not fully yet because thankfully I did not end up rooting in the house for the whole week as what I expected keke.

Yesterday (10/11/2009), our gang ( = me, Kok Han, Ivan, Afiqah, Weng Loong) had our yamcha + jalan-jalan session in The Curve + e@Curve + Ikano + IKEA yesterday. Haha, first gathering session for the holiday and hope more will come *winks* Sometimes I feel like complaining about the long holiday. 2 months man 2 months! Whilst people only got one month to recharge and that's the best holiday I can have =( What am I going to do in 2 months?! Work, my dad is against it (as usual). Cannot go out too often some more =( Don't want to make my parents worry too much about me (>.<) One thing bad about being a girl lol. Okay off topic off topic XD

Okay so since we were going there separately, we decided to meet there at 11.30 a.m. ( IT'S 11.30 A.M.!!). Woke up at around 9.15 a.m., supposedly 8.00 a.m. but. oh well XP get ready and waited for Kok Han while watching Nabari no Ou. At around 10.30 a.m.., Kok Han reached after fetching Afiqah and here we go lol. We were early okay! It was not even 11.00 a.m. when we reached there and this smart twin ( Ivan + Weng Loong) made us wait for almost 2 hours accusing us we were late =.= You betrayed my trust! Hmph! They even said that they were still in their houses when we called them. Argh, how can you do this to us! Even though we were NOT late! *wails*

So anyhow, after all the 'chaos', we headed to IKEA for meatballs lol. And we can some more went to Viva for pizzas lol. So-call food hunting lol! Came back at around 4.00 p.m. Heavy rain some more O.O Why the rain came out so early that usual yesterday huh? XD

Movie outing this Friday! lol! I really think I should continue with my daily update due to rotting XD

Inspirational Quote for today: Be a Do It Now Person (What should I do now? I don't have anything to rush! =.=)

Today's Advice: Worry Less, Limit Stress ( Okay, I got no stress now. But maybe the worry less should make sense )

Did I put this up before?

As long as I am in your thoughts, my heart will always be with you.

A quote from 07-Ghost. But I think it's very true and very sweet XD For me *winks*

Labels: Friends

2009/11/08, 1:07 AM

(17)

Sometimes small things tend to make me worried;

But then, trust overcome it and make me less worried =)

2009/11/06, 9:15 PM

Helpless and Powerless

Here to update again. Seriously I think I should go back to my daily update like what I used to do last time =p Anyway, today is not a really good day for me. I had my hair ~~cut~~ trimmed. Wanted to try a new haircut but I had doubts on it when I entered the saloon. So, in the end, decided to just trim it first hehe. At least it's neater now =) A chaos occured just now and till now it had not been resolved yet. I was kinda worried, not kinda, is very worried about the situation now. Although I know that everything should be okay by tomorrow but looking at how it is now, I know that, if proper action is not taken, the situation will become worse. But, although I had tried my best to do anything I can to help out, it turned out that my effort was wasted. I felt somehow helpless now. Can you understand the feeling, when you want to help out so much but you are indeed so powerless that in the end you can't help out in anything. This is my feeling now. Sometimes I hate myself for being helpless and powerless. I always want to help out others. I feel happy when doing so, that's why I am extremely frustrated when I am unable to help out someone in need.

Okay, looks like I am crapping my way out again hehe. Anyhow, I will still try my best to help make the situation become better. Tomorrow 6 hours of practical + seminar for driving lesson. Fuuuu~ Should make sure I have enough sleep tonight so that I won't doze off in the class lol.

How am I going to help you when you don't want to help yourself? =(

Labels: Random

2009/11/04, 6:22 PM

Passed Undang Test =3

Thus, I went to take my undang test FINALLY. Had been facing the book and the computer for 4 hours straight in the afternoon, then continued again at night. Managed to get the points and yeah.. today, went for the test and, passed. Haha! I find this post kinda like an extra post. Brain is kinda lagging now and I don't know what to write anymore. I think, that's all for today? lol! Tata!

Labels: Random

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Welcome to my ranting ground. I write what I feel and I say what I think. Enjoy your visit here and if there's any technical difficulties, feel free to mail me at suwerndono@hotmail.com.

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Hey! I am Su Wern. 22nd January is my special day.
I am currently a Communication & Media Studies student, which is the most happening industry one can ever imagine :D

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11 Facts about Me:

1.) I am UNPREDICTABLE.
2.) I have rapid mood-changing issue.
3.) I possess strong curiosity.
4.) My main motivation to do things is base on my personal interest.
5.) Observant.
6.) I crap and talk a lot to my close ones.
7.) I fear the sea.
8.) I am very possessive.
9.) I am stubborn.
10.) I often think too much.
11.) I am very protective towards people I love.

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