Labels: Ranting

Ditto and aloha! Yeah finally a breather and I am back! ( woah hyper much? :P ) Anyhow, finally done with Journalism assignment but there's MORE and MORE to come. But oh well, pressure much but nothing is gonna change my mood now because I finally(?) realised that semester 3 is coming to an end! So fast right?! I still remember the time when I started this semester, with much slacking and all :P but now it's gonna end.

Honestly, this semester is really pressuring and omigosh, it nearly drained all my life energy out. I feel so lifeless. Everyday is all about assignments, tests, assignments, test. Oh gosh :S Lifeless, much? But we are going through it yes we are. Well, sometimes we might not did our work up to our expectations (leaving us filled with regrets and guilts) but we did go through it right?

Anyhow, a little bit more, Su Wern and it will be over. no eyes to see what the end results will turn out :S. Frankly, I AM regretting much about the assignments I did. I regret SO MUCH that I swear I feel my heart got chopped in half. But what else can I do? What done is done and I can't expect perfection all the time can I? I am still in the learning progress so what I can do is just to work as best as I can and hope that all the efforts will pay off. Oh well, when I didn't put in too much effort then I know la what the result will be :(

So anyway, I want a dragon! Not just any dragon but I want the dragon like Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon. So awfully CUTE can?! Really enjoyed the time spent with tomato and really, when was the last time we went out together? (>///<) It was really an awesome breather :P Till next time! Hoho! ( I feel like being some host muahaha )

p/s : I am SO obsessed with cute stuffs :P

Labels: Random

Dear Tomato,

So we meet our 5th. I remember you say how long we are already together is not important anymore because we know that we will always be together so we don't really need to calculate the time we are together.

But now, I want to tell you that we meet our 5th and I am still thinking that I am experiencing a miracle.

To be honest, this is so far my longest relationship and also the relationship which I really put in all my commitment, trust, determination, and faith in it. Somehow, I couldn't really explain how I feel about this relationship but since the day we are together, there is always a voice, or rather, a feeling, telling me that this will be the last relationship I will get and this person, who I am currently be with now, will accompany me throughout my whole life.

The feeling tells me, that this person, will also accompany me through all the hardships and sweet moments we will be going through, now and in the future.

The feeling also tells me, or rather, it reminds me over and over again, to cherish, to protect, and to treasure the person conquering my heart now.

I am a lucky person. I am always lucky. But the most luckiest thing I can ever encounter is you, dear.

For the past month, we had been stressing ourselves with assignments, tests etc which really pressure us out a lot. Sleepless nights, going back late, tiredness. None of these words actually manage to get out of our heads for the past month. Yes, we were indeed being pressured and stressed up a lot. But all the time, without fail, you are always by my side. Although you yourself was tremendously tired, stressed up and pressured, you never fail to accompany me, listen to me and carry all the pressure I was carrying all the way. And in the same time, although we were so stressed up with our work, we never even have conflict with each other, which for me, is yet another miracle.

Remember I was rushing for Photojournalism, and I was so tired, so stressed up with the unfinished workload? You were there, accompanying me for the whole night, on Skype, you talked to me, you woke me up when I fell asleep, you concerned about me so much and end up you sacrificed your sleeping time, just to be there when I need someone to talk. I can sensed how tired you were and how sleepy you were but over and over again, you kept on telling me not to worry and concentrate on my work. Not only that, you even came over to my house in the morning to help me out with the work, sacrificing your sleeping time. I know how much your sleeping time means to you and at that moment, you would never know how grateful I had you by my side. Thank you so much.

Remember the first Journalism test? Remember how we studied together the night before on Skype? Remember the 5 hours of studying? Remember how we managed to get through the test without dropping badly? That was a very useful study method for me. At the time when we studied together, I felt so happy I don't feel stress at all. I love to talk to you. I love to listen to your adorable reaction. I just love everything about you.

And today, I finally managed to do something for you. Although it's a small thing but the moment I saw the happy look on your face, you don't know how much that means to me. I was so happy I nearly don't know how to respond. I just love spending time with you because, you are the only person who can make me happy without even trying.

I am so sorry for all the abusing, all the scoldings and all. No matter what type of person you are, like I said before, I will still accept your everything. Thank you for being there all the time and sorry, if I had hurt you in any ways which I never realise. Happy 5th Anniversary, dear.

Labels: Love

I got the urge to write this down before the situation got worse.

This post is written directly to you - Ng Kok Han.

No matter what others say, no matter what others think, I still want you to know that nothing will change my feeling towards you.

Your existence and every moment you give me is so precious, so unforgettable and so special that it is impossible for me to even think of letting you leave me.

Since the day we started to share with each other our sweet moments and our bitter moments, I had already trying very hard to get used with the new life of mine, which include you in every shadow of my memory.

You know how hard is it for me to do this?

I am a girl, who had got used to spending time alone.
Solving own problem alone.
Thinking alone.

I had never got a single thought of sharing my problems with others because to me, it is such a nuisance to others because it's my problem, so why should I trouble people because of my trouble? It's just wrong to me.

I want you to know that no matter what people said, I don't really care.

Yes it hurts a lot. I felt so angry that I swear I can stab the person to death.

But, the thing I worry most is your feeling, dear.
I don't want you to have the wrong opinion that I deserve someone better or I would choose someone else, because I know I won't.

It is not easy for me to open up and pour all my emotions, feelings and almost everything to someone else.

But you made me do that.
You gave me the trust.
You made me feel so secure that I know I can entrust my everything to you.
You made me feel that I am ready to depend on you for the rest of my life.

It might looked different from outside.
People might look at us differently but only you and me know the value for this relationship.

People misjudge us from the outside, that's all I can say.
Because they never know how deep the bond is and they never understand how meaningful and special is this relationship.
It's even okay for them to not even know it, because this is between us, no more third person.

You know right, dear, that this is a special bond of us that was created because of a special fate between us.

The 5th is striking soon and my feelings still remain the same as how it striked the 1st.
I sometimes feel like a useless girlfriend because sometimes I can't help you out with your problems.
You know how hurt it is to see you depressed?
And you know how hurt is it to being unable to do anything?
Really, don't tell me 'it's nothing' or 'I'm okay', because I know that you are not and you are making me more hurt.

If we are to be together, I have every rights to concern about you, to listen to you and to help you out using any possible ways.

I am always here to help you out in anything you need.
And when I say always, I really meant it you know.

I just want you to know how much I had poured in this relationship and I have enough confident that with the determination of both of us, and most importantly, with the feelings we had put in, I will see you holding my hand, giving me a hug in the next 80 or even 90 years.

No matter what others say, what others think, just put them aside.
It's painful and hurtful, yeah.
But, we know it's not like that and we know that we deserve something better.

You know what?
Wo Zhen de Zhen de Hen Ai Ni, Tomato *hugs*

Labels: Love

I realised right, I would really enjoy doing my assignment if I got more time. I mean, all the assignments are great and really enjoyable to do it, but once I consider about the limited time I have, it became a really big turn-down ( I am addicted to this word recently keke ). But really can't blame anyone for this because it all comes back down to my own time management, which suddenly turns out to be so awful this semester that I feel frequent disappointment, regrets and guilty in myself :( I don't know what will I see at the end of the semester but I pray hard that everything will go on well. Uh well yeah, me myself have to buck up and work hard for it first. Determination! Where are you?!

Oh yeah, and I really need to find a way to boost up my energy. I hope my energy can last longer. I always get really tired after 12.00 a.m. and oh gosh, I can have more things done if I can stay awake for a bit longer. And one thing, I really hate the way I do things these days. Last minute and rushing. Oh dear, how can I even allow myself to do last minute work?! Really really regretting for that *sighs*

I guess I really have to try my really really best and buck up now. Mindset Su Wern!

p/s : I am in a really weird mood lately. Ask tomato, he knows the best XD

Labels: Random

This week is a challenging week. I feel like I am racing with time and stamina. Updates later. Ciaoz more work ahead :S

Time for updates! I desperate need a short rest now so this post will be in point form ^.^"

5th March 2010 (Friday)

• Went to college for the one-hour Moral Class. Mid-Term next Monday urgh. But it will be an open-book test woohoo~
  
• After Moral Class, went to Mass Comm. Day meeting. Nothing much to update. Life is so busy and pressuring that I feel I am breaking soon :(
• After meeting, Ivan nii-san and I went to McD for our late lunch :( Joined shortly by Kok Han the tomato *winks* Met Zhen Yao there as well :)
• After the late lunch, went to meet up with Janice, Afiqah and Afiqah's friend, Akmal to discuss about the shooting of our Music Video.
• Later on, moved on to college to start our shooting. Shooting was kinda fun teehee~ Nii-san so cute can LOL! But overall the shooting in college was satisfactory :)
• After shooting in college, wanted to go to a park to continue our shooting, but can't find a suitable one in SS 15, so we went all the way to USJ 4 for another park.
• Reached USJ 4 but it rained :( So we decided to go to nii-san's house instead.
• Before going to nii-san's house, we stopped at tomato's house. Nii-san nearly got lost muahaha ( so evil la me XD ).
• Next stop was nii-san's house. Followed him all the way from Old Klang Road - Subang Jaya - Klang. Raining heavily on the way. Car splashing on tomato's car (>.<) Kinda scary but we reached Klang safely :) ( but still, I still can't trace the road to nii-san's house due to the complicated roads in Klang )
• Shooting in nii-san's house. Everyone ( except hamster and tomato ) is so amazed on the size of his house.
  
• Moved up to shoot in nii-san's room. Nearly destroyed the room muahaha, especially the bed kekeke. Everyone got excited and attacked nii-san's bed *evil smile*
• Abang Loong joined us at around 7.00 p.m. Brokeback scenes being shown *censored* LOL!
  
• After shooting, had dinner in nii-san's house ( Thank you aunty!! ) and headed to I-City for photojournalism.
• Jam in I-City. The lightings are nice :) However, we ended up taking pictures of ourselves instead for the assignment (>.<) It's a place for photo-taking, not story-telling.
• Around 11.00 p.m., went home. Nii-san and Abang Loong lead us to Federal Highway. Got home safely at around 11.30 p.m. Poor tomato and Janice, reached home so late :(
• Showered, messaged tomato, went online while waiting for the hair to dry, sleep.

6th March 2010 (Saturday)

• 7.00 a.m. Received message from tomato. After few minutes, received phone call from tomato pulak, telling me that he is already in front of my house. Panic cause I know I am late :S ( Supposed to meet up with Nothing Box at 7.00 a.m. ) and ran out of the room to get ready (>.<)
• Short while later, Janice arrived.
  
• Afiqah arrived shortly after them.
• Nii-san and Abang Loong were late cause they have to wait for the rain in Klang to stop before coming.
  
• After they arrived, departed to Akmal's house in Shah Alam in nii-san's Naza. Woohoo! 6 people in one car = AWESOME :)
• Took the wrong road while going down to Shah Alam but managed to reach Akmal's house safely :)
• Shooting in Akmal's house. It was a bit delayed but everything went on smoothly :)
• Left Akmal's house at around 11.00 a.m. Departed to KL. Bullying on tomato started *evil laugh*
  
• Reached KL at around 12.00 p.m. Went to KLCC for parking and started our photojournalism journey.
  
• Went to A & W for lunch.
  
• Went to the park for photo shooting. Nothing much :(
• Went out of KLCC parking and went to Sungei Wang instead. More bullying on tomato.
  
• Parked in Sungei Wang and started photo-searching.
  
• Went to the roads, Pavillion and even Times Square. Weather was awesomely hot (>.<)
• Ended our photo-searching at around 5.00 p.m. Went back to Sungei Wang parking and started to depart home. More and more bullying of tomato *more evil laugh*
• Reached home around 6.00 p.m. Went for dinner with tomato.
• Wanted to eat in Baker's Cottage, mana tau saw Mr.Jafni :S paiseh (>///<). Kena bullied by Mr. Jafni. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (>///<) Anyway really thanks Mr. Jafni for everything :)
• In the end, went to Subang Parade Sushi King for dinner.
  
• On the way back, met my family, who was on their way back home as well on the road.
• Reached home at around 8.30 p.m.

Fuuuu~ More shootings tomorrow and more sponsorship stuffs to be settled tomorrow. My gosh whole weekend gone. But although it's tiring, I find it kinda enjoyable. especially got to bully my tomato more kekekeke. Pressure ahhhhhhhhhhhh Barely have enough time to use :( I hope we got 48 hours in a day.

Okay I am off to get some rest now. Later have to buck up in assignments (>.<) Tata! :D

Labels: Day

It had been long since I came home this early. Somehow I feel the tension feeling leaving me. What is this relieve I am feeling? I feel something changing. Not to a good one, but... I don't know. Maybe I am thinking too much again. Anyhow, I will still walk on, and carry out what I should, must, and need to do.

Labels: Random