Greetings! :D Holiday. So far so good. Minus the slow, irritating, annoying Internet connection. At this moment, I got a strong feeling of being cheated into buying something that cannot fulfill or meet my satisfaction. My Internet line is supposed to reach up to 120kb/sec, but now it barely touches 25kb/sec. And I paying so much for the Internet but Streamyx just decided to give me this kind of connection. Awesome irritated -.- But anyway! Here's some updates bout life :P



Picture taken today morning. No no look at my hair. It's so bushy and so much. Gahh should I get a haircut? =/


I'll be updating 2 outings today. One was last Friday, a small 'pay-off' celebration for our hard work during the exam week and one will be on today, a dating day :P

So let's start off with last Friday. Oh before that let's have a small talk on finals first although I know how much you guys want to forget about it. To me, the finals for this semester was really straightforward and direct. When you study, you kinda like can guess what will be coming out for the paper and that was what I did. I spotted all the possible questions and studied real hard for everything. When I mean study real hard, not that I studied like 8 hours a day ( mind you! I only studied 2-4 hours for every subject ), but I mean like really focus and stuffed everything into my brain. And surprisingly, maybe luck was by my side during the time, everything I studied came out and I was able to answer almost everything. Kinda happy after every subject. In fact, I didn't feel like I was having exams at that time. I just feel like I was having some tests instead of exams x.x But nah, everything is over now and I will have my fingers crossed for the results :)

Semester 5 was really a happening one. Although there was lots of dramas within myself, but I did learned a lot, the hard way, and I did managed to achieve what I wanted to achieve. So I guess it wasn't wasted at all? :P

Alright. So moving on to the celebration last Friday! :) After our final paper ( Advertising Copywriting ), we went to Pyramid for dinner and movie. Dinner was in Pasta Zanmai. It was my first time there and my first impression of the place was that it was really a nice, cosy place. Except that it is too small with too many people. But everything else is superb. Including the foods :P





The mini set only costs RM23.00 with two meals ( rice + noodles ) so we can actually share between two persons. The price is very affordable and the foods taste awesome as well. I like the unagi and now, I feel like eating unagi.

And after that, we went for a late movie.



The Next Three Days. Awesome movie it is :) I wouldn't say it's a thriller but it's more towards a psychological drama. It revolves around the story of John Brennan, played by Ruselle Crowe, who takes every step and strategy he can to save his wife out from the prison, intentionally to escape from the jail. It was a brilliant written movie. There is so much chance for the plot of the movie to go wrong somewhere but the director managed to pull through everything and came out with an awesome piece. Watch it! Highly recommended :) Rated 8.5/10 from me :P

On Monday, it was a dating day :) So we went to 1 Utama for movie and lunch. It was a short day but it was really enjoyable. So this time, instead of having lunch first, we went for movie first. Another awesome movie :)





Hachiko: A Dog's Story. This is the type of movie which will make you cry and get emo when you walk out of the cinema. And seriously. It's awesome touching and it will make you love dogs more. Not forgetting that the dog ( Hachiko ) in the movie is so awesomely adorable, with its innocent face and its face which is able to convey just anything he's feeling, you just feel like jumping into the screen and gives it a huge hug. Well, that was how I felt :) I doubt we can find the breed of the dog in our country. It's an Akito breed, by the way :)

The movie's plot is actually based on a true story. But the story happened in Japan. This dog waited for its master at the Shibuya train station every single day. He continued doing so for the next 9 years after his master had deceased, although he might have a chance knowing that the master will not be back. However, it continues waiting every single day, the same place, the same time, for the master and it passed away. Now, in Shibuya train station, they even built a bronze statue of the dog in remembrance of the dog's loyalty towards the master. Really touching story =')





Of course, if you watch the movie, it is far more touching than whatever I had just described up there. Words really can't describe precisely on how touching and heart-aching the movie is. It will make you cry *sniffs* I did not cry when I was watching the movie, but I swear I felt my eyes went wet ='( Oh anyway, this movie is screened in the international screen of GSC cinema so there will be no subtitles. First time watching in an international screen woohoo! But no worries, the movie is in English and even when there is other languages being spoken in the movie, they will have subtitles.

So watch it before it is being taken off the screen! It had been there for quite a while now so don't hesitate, just watch it. Highly highly recommended! Seriously, you will want a dog as a pet after you watched the movie :) Rated 9.8/10 from me :) 0.2 taken off for not being able to make me drop tears. My problem lol.

So the day ended after we had our lunch in Sushi King ( second last day for Salmon offer! :D ) and strolled around in the mall. Remember I mentioned about the Pikachu I saw in Jusco 1 Utama? They don't have it anymore ='( Sad. I can't find nice stickers for my laptop as well and my laptop is giving me screen problems whenever I on it. The screen sorta like jumps and it's awesome irritating and headache just looking at the screen. So nowadays I just leave it on.

That's all from my updates! :D Holiday. So far so good :) I am downloading tons of NDS games to fill up my time. Aloha! But somehow, I still prefer the real portable one compared to the emulator. At least I can bring it along everywhere I want to kill time :)

Christmas is coming! Below is my dream Christmas presents that I know it's impossible to get:

That's all! Have an awesome day, guys! :D

It seems like there's too many coincidences and betrayals that really really can't get me to forgive. ( p/s: this post is not for you, tomato. cheers :D ). I tried to, like, give more chances, but in the end, again and again, the same thing occurs again and again, and again and again, I feel so betrayed that I seriously cannot trust or depend on you already. You terasa, your problem. Because I treat you like a friend and you treat me like crap. You do things by yourself although it's concerning both of us and you don't tell me what's going on, until I find out myself. And the worst thing is, I thought we were friends. What can I say? You are selfish, and self-centered. Okay fine. I quit. I am out of this game. You can do this to me, I can as well. And I can do a lot more better than you.

It's raining now. Somehow the rain just has to portray my feelings now. Semester 5 had just ended yesterday, which means that the one-month-break is here. But somehow, I am not that overwhelmed with the holiday mood. I think I have my fears towards holiday. Holiday does not seem like a break for me. Holiday makes things harder for me. And for the past two holidays, it was such a torture that I can't wait for the new semester to start. I know this shouldn't be happening to me but I really can't avoid it, no matter how hard I tried and how I hard I tried to ignore my own feelings. I feel constant emptiness.

I know I'm weird. I admit I am.

But then again, no one can really understand what I am facing and what I am feeling. It's not pleasant at all. I am having a slight headache. My eyes are really tired. I want to go back to sleep although I woke up at 12.15 p.m. but whenever I lie down on my bed, so many pictures flash through my head and I really can't take it.

Someone please tell me how to stop these feelings. How to trust and depend on a person more? How to make myself happier? I know no one has answers for me. But I just want to take the chance to try asking. In fact I know the answers lie deeply in myself. I just have to find it. Or I simply has to get use to these and get through everything.

It had been a long time since I cried so much. Yesterday and today. I cannot understand why my tears drop so easily. They just fall out themselves. But what I clearly feel is, the ache of the heart. It makes me hard to breath and it makes me cry. I don't want to cry anymore. I keep on telling myself to be strong but it's so hard. Just because I care so much I can't ignore the feeling. I can't get myself to ignore anything because my heart will still remember it and it will constantly remind me on what I really feel.

When will all these stop? When will I stop feeling such way again? When will I stop feeling hurt, disappointed, scared, and pain? :(

Done with Writing For the Mass Media! :D Somehow I really like this type of exam paper. You study, you get it. It's all about give & take :P A lot of my own spotted questions actually came out and I seriously have no idea how to describe the excitement in me when I opened the exam paper :D




To be honest, I didn't really study much for the paper. Didn't feel the urgency to study x.x All I did was preparing detailed notes for him and trying to use lots and lots of shortcut ways to remember all the points. I only slept at around 4.00 a.m. the previous night, not to study but to stumble around Tumblr ( yes do visit me! :D ). Woke up at 8.30 a.m. and that was the time when I really started to study. Morning is always the best time for me to study and surprisingly, I managed to remember every single thing in my notes and yes, I remember(ed) :P

But I guess what really helped me most was the preparation of the notes and the previous two tests. Because indirectly, when I was preparing the notes, I actually studied in the same time. And I guess that was the reason why I managed to remember everything so easily and in such a fast pace =/ But of course, not to repeat this again. I just got lucky.

Paper was not tough. You studied, you get it :) As simple as that. Questions are really straightforward. Nothing too tricky and nothing too complicated. I hope this Friday's Advertising Copywriting paper would be the same as today's :D But this time I will really study lol!

My favorite question came out! The 6 elements for Serial Narrative Story Form. This is my favorite question because of the names actually. The Three Dragon. Gold Mines Source. It's so magical :P Oh, and I never expect Mr.K will ask us to write SIX leads. Just plain awesome :) But one thing good about today's paper, I managed to win the race between me and time :) Everything was completed right on time and I even had time to check :D

Now off for more planning. Media Planning tomorrow! :) Thank you 2 p.m.!

One down, four more to go! :D Exam always manage to teach me one thing : How to race with time. But every single time, I am still struggling to learn the exact way of doing it. But somehow, I am improving slowly and am really glad with it :)




Presentation Skills. I really think they shouldn't have an exam for this subject. Come on! It's Presentation Skills! What can we learn much from theory without applying them in the real practical situations? =/ Kinda weird, don't you think? But anyhow, got through it, and glad I finished the paper on time. Although I know I would had done better without the time constrain :( It's already the past! Focus on Writing for Mass Media now. More revision on the way.

Seriously. I can't wait for finals to over ( and yes, it would come, eventually :P ). And I can't wait for the time I can really say : Bye bye Semester 5!

p/s: Today is the first day of final as well as our 1 year & 1 month anniversary. Happy or sad? :P

Tomorrow will be the starting of finals a.k.a. final battle for semester 5. Looking around, everyone seems to anxious but surprisingly, I am not. Well maybe I am but I am not that nervous. What I am doing now is mainly just study to my own accord and study as much as I can. I never feel so relax while studying for finals before, and I am grateful for what I am feeling now, because somehow, I realize it actually makes me to be able to study better and in the same time, not feeling any pressure or stress. I wonder why this is happening but still, I will try my best. Don't want any regrets after everything has ended (>.<)

Anyhow, good luck for everyone who's having exams tomorrow! Good luck to me as well :) We can do it, I am sure of it. Just try your best, and see how the effort pays back :D

p/s: I am going to sleep real early today. And wake up real early tomorrow morning :)

She finds herself stomping with anger, frustration, mistrust. She tried to calm herself down. It's hard but she know she can. She need time. It's again. Again. The same thing. She wonder how long more can she trust. Or perhaps she has already stopped trusting. Maybe she just wants to escape from the fact that she was betrayed. So hardly. Right in the face. She never want to deal with this. Never want to. But it's not her choice to chose her position. Everything that she wants to escape from keeps on running back to her. Haunting her. She feels like she is the only one in the world who is worth trusting. And who will never hurt her. Unlike the others.

Her heart is dead. Fed-up. Disappointed. Sad. She lost all the trust towards another man. This is the end, she told herself. No more. She will never believe anymore. No more. She wants to put a stop to this. For the times she had been enduring, had been trying so hard to shut herself up, had been so keen to give more and more chances, had been... But everything has its limits. Including her.

No more, she thought. Just no more.

There is... no one to trust, anyway.

Aloha! I was supposed to update this post yesterday but I fell asleep. There goes all the mission I wanted to accomplish ( including tidying up my room yes will do that later ). But I think the main reason why I was so tired yesterday was due to the fact that I only slept at 5.10 a.m. the previous night to finish up HP7 book and woke up at around 10.00 a.m. to prepare myself for the movie date :P Thus, when I got home, straightaway piak! But anyhow, yesterday was a terrific, awesome day which really makes me feel like I am already in holiday :D

Went for Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows movie date yesterday with my darling. Movie started at 3.00 p.m. but we were there so early. Tomato came at around 11.30 a.m. and I was at that time. I used up lots of time shuffling between my clothes in my wardrobe yesterday to find the perfect one for the day. And note that our dress-code for the day was semi-formal so I was thinking of wearing a skirt but the problem was : I don't know which skirt to wear. But in the end of the day I managed to dress myself up and we reached Summit at around 12.15 p.m.

Upon arrival, of course we have to feed our tummies first to prepare ourselves for the upcoming 2.5 hours of movie :P So we went to Sushi King since they are having this Salmon promotion ( loves! ). It felt so good because it had been a long time since I last tasted a salmon. I guess it was more than 3 weeks ago yummm. After that we strolled around the mall, finding ourselves 2 more hours for the movie. So what to do?

CAMWHORE :D







Favorite Picture of Us for the day! :D

Pictures were taken when we rested ourselves at the new chairs(?) the mall set up. Not so comfortable, though x.x We even went to yamcha at a small mamak(?) or should I say, cafe, to wait for the time to past. Bringing back up the PS2 RPGs I used to play brought back so much memories. I can't really find such nice games anymore now that everything is being transferred to PS3 :'( But still, I prefer PS2 the most. Not that much of PS3 now because the games I want to play are not there. We even went to hunt for PS2 games but no luck :( And finally, 3.00 p.m. Crazy us bought 5 mash potatoes and one big Coke into the cinema. Mash potato maniac haha!







Now for the review of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 1! :D





The story just basically continues from the 6th series ( The Half-Blood Prince ) and of course we can see a lot of parts had been changed and cut off to fit in the movie time length. Anyhow, I would not say that I feel 'wow' after I watched the movie because I really do prefer the book more. Excluding all these, I extremely like the original scenes the movie I inserted and the humor scenes, in my opinion, are well extracted and presented in the movie :) Same goes to all the CGIs. Really impressive. But one thing I noticed from the new movie is the landscapes used in the movie. Really amusing. Really nice landscapes :) Really like them. But perhaps the landscapes had been overpowering the plot, because they are so 'wow' to the extent that they grab all my attention away. Haha or maybe it was just me :P





Oh yeah not mentioning how much I love the costumes of the characters, especially Hermione Granger. Seriously. Another thing is that Hermione seems to had override Harry in the movie, but she's the heroin anyway :P I personally like the beginning ( although they cut off the emotional farewell seen between Harry and the Dursleys ), to be exact, the part when Hermione erase the memories of her family. It was not in the book :') Oh and I like the new soundtracks. Really nice :) Overall, I won't say it's a waste of money watching the movie, stating that I am a big fan of the book but I think certain parts can be executed better :) For instance, the fight between the Order members and the Death Eaters in the sky. But anyhow, it's a nice movie. Can't wait for part 2. 8 months! Omigosh x.x

Below are camwhoring pictures of me. Sorry I just need to do this. I had not been posting up my own pictures for so long! :P







Here comes the stand-alone pictures :D








This picture is my favorite picture of the day :D


Fuuu~ That's all from me! :D Off for more uploads and study! :P

I really got the feeling that I am attached to my hamster. Like, seriously. I got tons of their photos but I have not tidied them so I will show you the next time? :P I promise!

It was a whole day spent on the last book of the Harry Potter series. Yes the one that will be up in cinema ( in fact, it's already been up :D ). Reading the books makes me feel really excited. It had been a long time since I lost contact with the series but now when I reread the books, it makes me feel nostalgic and in the same time, the feeling of excitement and longing return. Mind you, I had been growing up with the HP series and I was, and still, a maniac fan over it since I was 10, the old primary days :) I have every single merchandise of the series and I'm still treasuring them in my room. The whole 7 books of Harry Potter is still my prized treasure. I have a lot of memories with this series, and yes, it actually grows up with me.

Going to watch HP7 tomorrow. Honestly, I can't wait. Gonna finish up the last book tonight! Guess what, I actually manage to finish the whole 7th book in one day without even skipping any of the details. And this makes me realized what a fast-reader I am :P And after reading the book, I seriously can't wait, mark that, CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie. I'm so excited! Aloha! :D As usual, I always watch Harry Potter with people I love and people who I'm close to ( short fact: I actually watched HP3: Prizoner of Azkaban 3 times in cinemas because I personally love that one the most :D ), so tomorrow I will be watching with my darling :) First time to watch the movie with him and I honestly can't wait. Oops have I been repeating myself too much? I'm so sorry. I'm too excited! :D :D

Of course I will be writing a review tomorrow after I've watched the movie. Omigosh I haven't been feeling so excited for a movie for a while :) Till then!

It's study break now! But somehow, I interpreted the study break with my own meaning -- break from studies :D Nope I haven't touch any of my notes nor books yet and yeah, I haven't started my studies yet. Oops I know perfectly well that finals is next week but hey, I need a breather :)

So with the intention to relax myself, I had been doing nothing for the past few days except watching, sleeping, and playing. It's as though my holidays had started but SOON, I assure that SOON I will start my studies when I have the mood and after I've rested enough :) But these few days of mine had been really fruitful. Never been able to relax myself so much for the whole 4 months and I am totally enjoying the relaxation and stress-free moments I am having now. And right after I broke my one-month-not-stepping-into-a-cinema-virginity, today, I stepped into the cinema once again with tomato for the second movie of the week! ( although our initial plan was to just buy the tickets for Harry Potter 7 but oh well :P )

This was our last-minute movie :P And I have to say, I still have Skyline's impact deep in me but this movie is also a nice one. Based on a true story, I would say the best thing I like in this movie would be the camera frames. I totally love the angles used in the movie. Oh, another thing that I really love about this movie is the music used. Awesome nice. It wouldn't be a 'wow' type of movie but it won't be a 'urgh, wasted my money' type of movie as well. Because the building up of the tension was satisfactory. Story-wise, average :) It tells how much damage human's mistake can cause and how much it will cost for a humans to actually be reasonable, rational, and do things that is beneficial for everyone and not only themselves. A truly inspiring movie :)

I honestly can't wait for Thursday! Managed to buy two tickets for this Thursday! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollow! Woohoo! Summit GSC THX Cinema is the blast! S

That's all for now. Toodles! :D

Content. I think it was pretty awesome, minus the fact that we were threw straight into action once the movie started without any explanations on what is going on. And minus again the fact that we never knew the reason behind the whole alien(?) invasion disaster after the 1.5 hour movie. Despite the lack of explanation part, it was awesome. Throughout the whole movie, both of us felt so tensed up and so tension following the characters in the movie mainly because we can't really expect what's going to happen next. And even after the movie, we can still feel the impact so clearly that we were scared that an alien will just intrude its way into the mall ( by the way, we were in Summit ) and scrap out humans' brain and that we would have to run our lives out for it. Erm well, at least I was the one who thought so. Can clearly hear the hear beating so loudly and so excitedly when I stepped out of the cinema.

So despite the fact that I am still blur on why everything that happened in the movie happened, I really do feel the satisfaction when the movie ended. But sadly, yes cliffhanger. What happened after that?!

Graphic. Awesome. Really. Although yes the aliens are so ewwwww looking but it can't be help that aliens are stereotyped or perceived in such way. I actually think they look like octopus or ( like what tomato said ), jellyfish. But the fact that they rip off humans' head and consume their brains is just... double ewww. The CGs are awesome. Really nice. Can really see that lots of budget had been put into the CGs to make it look so real that it create an impact so huge I can still feel it now *shivers* Actually the whole set kinda looks like a game, though, which I think is pretty awesome :)

Sayonara Semester 5 :)

I am done with semester 5 with only finals left. In just a blink of eye. I wouldn't say that this semester is really slow-paced or it is really fast-paced but, really, it's so fast. I mean, it passes by so fast that I still have a hard time believing that I am done with my 5th semester. One more semester to go. One more internship to go. And I am off from college.

This semester is a fruitful one. Really. Despite all the dramas and all the unwanted things, it had been a great one :) We learn new things everything semester and yeah, same goes to this. Not really in terms of academic only, but also in terms of attitudes, personalities, and mindsets, towards different things. Certain things even can't make me to look at them the same way again. Yeah. So much difference can be made in just 4 months time. (p/s: woah 4 months had just passed by?!)

In semester 5, there were a lot of heavy responsibilities to be taken and there were times when I felt like I was facing the whole workload alone. In semester 5, my trust towards people somehow decrease. Not because I don't trust anyone, but you know, if you want people to trust you, you should earn your own trust. I feel very sad upon thinking that this actually happened but oh well, what done is done and really, I am not that nice of a person.

But again, in the end of the day, I learned a lot. I've learned so much stuff. And even with all the dramas and all other negative stuffs, I felt like it's all okay. This is what it meant to be.

Kay. Stop the ranting now. In short, semester 5 was really awesome. Really learned lots of things. Really benefited a lot. Really make things clear. Really make me understand more things. It was a good semester. It is :)

Marking the 5th day straight of my sickness. Cursed myself. It's oh-so-great the last week of the semester and I have to fall sick now. Great. And worst of all, 2 presentations straight tomorrow. Life's absolute awesomeness.

Media Planning was awesome :) Totally loved the outcome. Everything I did. I just wanted to go all out and prevent myself from experiencing any regrets and disappointments. Magazine was awesome as well, but I think it could be better. But oh well, most important is the experience we gained. Beat book was... could be better. Yeah. I learned a lot, actually. Not only academic-wise, but also attitude and mindset-wise.

Hmmm actually I really do learned a lot about myself. And I really think my over-analytical attitude is all for the best. Especially for myself. I think it's just awesome. I love myself even more.

Kay. Was crapping a lot due to the unstable state of mind. Really hope tomorrow's presentation will go well. But oh well, I'm suppose to talk to myself and really, it can't be simpler as long as I have my mind clear and focused :)

I am seriously sick. I nearly lost my voice during today's presentation and I have frequent headache plus serious running nose and cough. But hey, I am doing fine. Real fine. Everything is good. I am good. This semester is going to end with a blast. An awesome punchline. All that I had went through, I know it will worth it. I've worked for it, and yes, I really believe effort will definitely pay.

Just one more day, Su Wern, and you are done with this semester. This fruitful semester :)

I should touch wood for saying bad stuff about my health. After all, it's equivalent exchange. It's the final week of the semester. Excluding the exam and study weeks. And yes, it's also the presentation week. Marking the end of the semester, I seriously don't like the fact that I have to fall sick at a time like this. But oh well. Ignore the sickness. I am fine. I will do fine :)

I shall rest my brain, my body, and my life. I need a break. A serious break. A getaway from everything. Sometimes it's just me but you know what, I think I kinda grow from it. It's because I realized that I don't really go against anything anymore. My heart nor my brain moaned something like "i just want all these to stop". I personally think it's a good thing. My mindset changes 180 degrees I myself can't believe it until I realized what I realized today.

I don't know whether you can understand me or not but just to be frank and just to sum up what I'm trying to say -- I think I'm fine being myself all the way. Everyone's unique. I'm unique :)

I sometimes do feel like I am too hard on myself. A lot of people said that to me. Yeah. I admit. But somehow, maybe it's not that I'm pushing or being too hard on myself. Maybe it's just me but I'm always blaming myself for a lot of things and when things get tough or rough, I would just look at myself in the mirror and says: "Serve you right."

I tend to blame people in the past. But now, I don't know whether if I am fed up, but I usually take the blame on myself, which makes me really stressed out and pressured most of the time. I don't know if this is one part of growing up but if it is, growing up is seriously hard.

I am awesomely tired. Just 3 hours ago I was nearly having fever. Come to think about it, it had been a long time since I fell sick. But of course I don't want to fall sick now. It's the worst time ever to fall sick now.

But then again, I really want to give myself some rest. A getaway, where I don't need to worry about anything and everything but only myself and how to make myself happy. It's not that I am not happy now but I need a new environment. I need to breath. Have a break. A real break. From practically, everything. Not only studies and work, but everything.

Things had been going wrong lately. Everything is. Well, not all, but most of it. I wonder what can be the cause of all these changes? Why is everything changing? Is it because we are becoming more and more familiar towards it?

I really don't know.

But, you know what, if it's really meant to be like this, what else can I do? We are mere humans and humans do change. I believe I myself changes as well. In a good or bad way, if you ask me, I think it's both.

I am only 19. I need my life. My youth.

But still, I feel so grateful for having someone who really treats me like I am his world. Thank you Ng Kok Han. Despite all my misbehavior and all my attitude problem, he is the one who went through everything with me and I know he will always be. We change. We do. I change.

For my the best of my life :)

Feeling like crap due to heat *urgh* But anyhow, another weekend started we me indulging myself in assignments. Last week to stay up for assignments. Presentations next and we are done. Honestly, just yesterday I feel myself longing for the holidays so much I hope today is the last day of the semester. But this morning when I woke up, believe it or not, the whole longing-ness just poof! Gone. Well I still do feel the longing-ness but it's not that strong. Somehow :)

I feel like a workaholic now. Is that a good thing? Haha! But I feel like sore throat is coming its way and pur-leashhh not now.

Honestly, I think I am mean. Yes I am. But it's just life. If we are too soft, it would be too hard for us. Just need to stand up to life and reality and make it better :)

3 more weeks to the end of semester 5. Kinda fast, huh. I know. Time is passing by so fast now. What will happen 5 years later? 10 years later? 15 years later? Or simply, what will happen tomorrow? I don't want to know and have no intention to know.

One step at a time. That is something I need to learn.

Just say that, I am slowly, patiently, building my own future. My own life :)

Hello! You would wonder what am I doing here at this hour when I have tons of assignments to be done *psst* media planning + creative comm. + presentation skills *psst* You know, I kinda get panic attack almost every morning I wake up. The first thing that comes into my mind would always be: will everything be fine? But excluding the panic attack, I can feel my heart goes down and heavier and my heartbeat will increase. Every morning. Without fail.

This is how my life is these days. The situation seems to become worse every semester. I thought it was my own problem but when looking back, I realized, no, it's not my problem. I am still at the same pace, still having the same determination, same passion, same goals. So, what is the problem?

Say I'm a loner. I will gladly admit it... NOT. I am not a loner. But what I am going to say next may makes you feel like I am a loner.

I honestly prefer individual work more than group work. I only prefer group work with one main condition: if only my group mates have more sense of responsibility and sense of significance towards the task(s) appointed to them.

I am not pointing fingers at anyone because obviously, you will know who you are. I got no intention of defaming anyone here but this is what I feel, from the bottom of my heart. I realized that I got no problem with it at all. But the hardest thing to deal with is not the workload, but the words of "all these stuffs are craps.", "why do we have so much stuffs to deal with?", "is the college trying to kill us?". Especially coming from my own group mates complaining about the same project we are dealing with, I totally despise that. You terasa, your problem.

It's like, hello? who's dealing with more stuff now?

I don't complain, so why should you? And instead of complaining, can someone please, kindly, help me with the same job ALL of us are suppose to do instead of complaining? Try compare your workload with mine. I don't complain, why should you?

Okay. It's not the first time I am dealing with this crap. It applies to almost everything, not only academic. You don't know what I went through. You don't even want or need to know. But I can tell you that it's a lot more hectic than what you have to face now. But not that I am complaining. I grew up from it and I am feeling really grateful for life to allow me to go through all these. But I'm just human. I have my feelings and I have my rantings.

Because I know, in the end of the day, I will be gaining what I should have gained. I am happy. I am benefiting from all these hectic moments. That's only when you think like me. Complaining won't help in solving the problem. Putting in effort does.