Hey peeps! Just got back from Bubba Gump. It was a blast! Really want to update it now but I can't. Degree starting tomorrow and it's an 8 a.m. class.

It would be awesome, wouldn't it? :)

Shall hit the sack now. Nights!

Good day peeps! My right eye hurts now, probably because I had been rubbing it too much. Aiks. So I should just stop rubbing. Anyway, how was your weekends so far? Great? I hope it is :) Mine was pretty awesome. A lot of things had been happening and it had totally ruin my plan to rot at home. But it was great, for a lot of reasons :)

On Thursday night, attended Nadhira's 12 Shades Album Launch @ The Laundry Bar, The Curve. If you are not familiar or haven't heard of this local artist, do feel free to visit her website to know more about her - Nadhira World. As mentioned, she's a local artist and she has awesome power in her vocal. Try the teaser :)

So I went there to help up. Although I had ended my internship with Arcis, I am still attached to them. Love it :) Appreciating the chances to be involved in different events hee. And mark this, it was my first ever time stepping into The Laundry Bar, so it was kind of a new experience :)

The media is my best friend :) The night of that event was also the day of the football match between Malaysia and Singapore. And obviously, once the match started, all attention was diverted on the match. But the launch was great. Whatever that need to be done was completed :)

And basically, that was my first time experience of stepping foot in Laundry Bar and also my first time experience on witnessing a celebrity launched her album.

Note: I sensed bad grammar in my writing. Aiks.

On a final note:

So I am back from enrolling and orientation. And I am dead tired. I feel like I can fall asleep anytime soon. But if I fall asleep now I will definitely regret because I will be abandoning my unfinished work aside :( How?

Education is costing a bomb! Saw the invoice and I thought I blacked out for a second. I love degree but it's going to burn my future house down. Again: Why does education have to cost someone's live? Stress. Can't wait to get started. Mark the calendar - August 1st. UOW, here I come :)

On a happier note, someone's turning older this Saturday :P Money bomb! But oh well, who cares as long as everyone's happy. Money can be earned back, but happiness is priceless :)

p/s: Can I sleep now? :(

Hello!

A quick one. Holiday and am still working. Home-based. It's all I could ask for. Home sweet home :) The break is moving extremely fast now. Days passing by in a flash and tomorrow is already Wednesday. Seriously?

Orientation tomorrow. Degree starting next Monday. Seriously? I just graduated last Friday and now I'm going to be a degree student in less than one week. Time is seriously moving fast.

But one thing I am sure and glad with is the readiness and realization I constantly keeping with myself.

Move on, Su Wern.

Will see you in orientation tomorrow! :) Sleep early! Heeee.

Just came out from shower and currently being in my room, having my snack (supposedly lunch) with my hair wet.

Hey I actually quite enjoy the lifestyle now. Busy in a different way. Doing stuff with my own pace. Peace.

Topic of this post is the issue of uncivilized. Define it. This issue had occurred to me because my awesome lifestyle had been constantly being spoiled in the past two days. And hey, what do you think about it? We know sometimes we are wrong but you know, it's kinda rude to shout at people, worse, assuming that you are right by shouting/accusing at people without feeling sorry. We are human of the same standard, not someone with a lower level than you. So before you start shouting/accusing, remember that you are just the same. And yes, as mentioned, perhaps we are wrong in certain ways, but there's always a way to remind us about it rather than shouting at people. I'm sure no one likes to be shout at. And I don't see any reason why you should assume that we do. Oh well. As said, uncivilized. I will stop my ranting here and let karma do its job.

Have a good day, everyone! Don't shout :) Heee.

p/s: This post is not directed to anyone I know. Just some stranger who shouted at me for the wrong reason. A bit of ranting aiks.

Starting off my short break with a blast! :D How was your Saturday everyone? I hope it's great! Mine was awesome. minus some uncivilized persons trying to ruin my mood.

I've got the...

And not forgetting....

3D Harry Potter adventure once again! Teaser picture below:

22.07.2011. Marks my final day of internship with Arcis and also my final day for my diploma program. I've officially graduated! :D

Just submitted my final work for my internship and now am officially on a one week holiday before my degree starts. Yes. One week. I'm definitely not made of metal but my heart is, so I'm actually fine with it :)

Interning with Arcis was great. Everything was great. Really grateful and really appreciate everyone in Arcis which had helped me out so much in so many ways. Will definitely miss those working moments :)

But moving on. I'm flipping another page now and I know it will be awesome. Why, you ask. Don't question me. I know it will, because it already is.

Cheers! :)

p/s: We have 51 movies and still counting! Woots! :P

Enjoying the time when I laze around in my room, breathing the cold artificial air and doing nothing while having 50 pages of transcript waiting for me to translate them.

Two days left for my internship with Arcis, but I know that it won't end here. Lots of things left to be learned. Having tons of work to be done now but for now, at this very moment, I just want to enjoy my own peaceful time without any disturbance.

Life is never easy. I had saw myself being separated into different personalities (sounds so much like separating souls to 7 Hocruxes but of course, mine is only 5) - family, relationship, friends, education, work. Someone once told me - a highly credible source - that if I find the balance within myself, there is no way anyone can stop me anymore. Am still finding for that balance. And will do. No worries :)

For now, I just need to buck up. No more overtaking, nah.

Have you ever sit down in peace - on one fine day - and think seriously (or reconsider) on all the choices you had made? Have you ever wonder if you are doing exactly what will make you happy in the future later on? Have you ever thought that what you are doing now is exactly what you want to do?

I had.

10 years ago. I had a completely different dream, different view of my future, different things I want to do.

5 years ago. It was also the same situation. Different. Everything is different.

Now. I have this same thought again. Thinking about what I wanted 10 years ago and 5 years ago, I always wonder how do I end up here today? How do I end up doing what I am doing today? Then I thought to myself -- this might not be the thing I wanted to do after all.

You see, sometimes things you want and things you should do contradict with each other. It's so very hard to get the balance between these two and do the things that both you want and you should. Perhaps it's just not meant to be. But on a second thought, perhaps it's just all up to you.

What I am doing now is definitely not what I wanted to do. This is the aftermath of allowing everything to go according to it's own account. Simply to let it be can really cost a lot. Maybe even your own chances. But there's no turning back. What's done is done and I just can't simply delete whatever I've chosen and start all anew. I don't have the time. And I don't want to be regret on what I've decided on my own.

But is it really possible? To balance between the should and the want?

That's for me to find out.

p/s: I hate the moment when I got influenced by the surroundings and the people. I need a slap on my face and be myself. Yes, it's not worth it, Su Wern. Get a grip on yourself! And I shall remember what you say.

In this very moment, I just want some time for myself, indulging in all the things I love, without any worries or pressure.

Time seems to move fast. Reality snaps. It's cruel sometimes. It makes me forget the feeling I should embed deep within myself.

Hating reality. But what to do, it's life. And we just have to keep going on.

At the busiest moment, you will just start to miss moments like this. And you will start to crave the peace that you long for. You will be just searching, and searching, and searching. And the cravings become stronger. In the end of the day, you find yourself in despair, just because you couldn't find the balance. You feel insecure. And all you need is a moment of silence, and distraction. To take you away from the reality. Away from all the responsibilities. And seeking for the truest moment when you can be yourself and indulge yourself in all the dreams and passion you always want to be in.

Trying to pour out my brain juices on an Internship Presentation slides and drooling on the epic videos of Harry Potter at the same time.

p/s: Depressed. Money problem never fail to bring me down *sighs*

Suddenly everything seems pointless. I had been trying so hard to avoid this to happen. I put in so much effort. But in the end, I still have to come back to this. So it's like, what's meant to happen will happen anyway isn't it?

Hating life's moment like this. Continuing depressed mode.

I strongly believe that the head (or brain) controls my rationality and the heart controls my emotions/feelings. Sometimes, do you have the feeling that what you want is constantly contradicting with what you should? Happens to me very often. The most frequent occurrence of such situation is now, right at this moment when I'm typing every word out.

I know I should, but although I know I should, I felt my heart aching. And instantly, I know straightaway that my heart doesn't agree with my rationality. It's like a struggle (or battle) between the heart and the brain. Or rather, I have to chose between myself or the person I love to hurt. And in the end of the way, I will always fall back to the in-between -- the numbness and the feeling of not wanting to care anything and not wanting to do anything.

Do you have these moments before? Do you know of any solution to it? Mind sharing? :')

But it doesn't really mean that it's a bad thing. The experience was one leaping moment for me.

Losing something and gaining something.

This time, I really feel that something inside me had changed.

The initiative, perhaps?

In less than one month time, it's back to the reality. The war zone, I call it.

Between who? Perhaps this time is a battle with myself.

And this time, I will do my best. Throwing away the constant regrets I had for the past years.

I've got no words to describe how I feel now. The pain is indescribable. It's not that I screw up any assignments. They are all well-packed and ready to be submitted anytime.

I don't know how long more can I sustain this pressure and pain all to myself.

Even if I tried to explain, it's all useless. There's no way anyone can understand what I'm feeling now.

I'm all messed up after all. Maybe I'm just deserved to be alone. Like, sustaining this burden, pressure, and pain all by myself.

The pain I felt from my heart. It's enough to make me faint. I don't know if it's something to do with blood pressure but I seriously feel like I'm going to black out anytime soon. The dizziness I am feeling now. Have you ever feel this kind of heart pain to the extent that you can faint?

I'm definitely experiencing it now.

I can feel tears bursting out anytime soon but instead, I am now holding back everything.

I don't know how I should face this. I'm feeling really really heartbroken and all my rationality seems to be taken - or I would say - grabbed away from me.

There is really no words that can perfectly describe how I'm feeling now.

I'm just very messed up, and very broken at the moment. For the first time in my life, I am feeling so fragile.

I'm done.

Hello to July! Bringing back so much memories mentioning the month of July.

Anyway, I should be asleep. Left another 6 hours of sleep and I will be off for work.

I'm feeling strangely peaceful at the moment.

Change is what I need.