I'm impatient at times. But this time, it's nothing to do with my impatience. 

The waiting process is the worst process one can go through. 

Sometimes I despise my sense of reality. But I just can't help it. 

The night is long. A bit too long.

And today, tonight, I still ask myself - Why do I still care? Let go. I.need.to.let.go.

Just a thought. I'm currently hooked on with Nura and it makes me wonder a lot. And perhaps it's proven true as well. But let me share with you first. 

Of course. Most will be aware of their outer personalities and have well control towards them, such as the personalities we want to portray to others or the personalities we want to hide within ourselves. Those are personalities we can somehow control. In certain situations, of course. 

But there might be a possibility that we might also possess certain inner personalities that are out of our control. Nura told me that our inner personalities might be divided into two parts, and the factor that determines the 'coming-out' of our inner personalities is the time of the day, specifically, day and night. So Nura said - during the daytime, we are definitely well aware of our personalities and we might have absolute control over it. We know perfectly well how we want to show ourselves, how we want ourselves to think, and how to stop ourselves from thinking about certain things we don't want to think; but during the nighttime, that's the time when our personalities start to lose control. Whatever we don't want to think about, whatever we don't want to show, all will be shown. All will be revealed. I personally think that's pretty torturing. But it's somehow the real thing. As in, the real us. Our own emotions and feelings, hidden well within us, controlled well within us during the daytime. But there are still limits on how much we can control. And when the limit is reached, the demon inside us takes over control, and then... BOOM! Uncontrolled personalities & emotions. 

Perhaps everyone's case is different with mine. But for me, it's true. I can't fight over the nighttime. No matter how hard I attempt to control my emotions, it's just too hard. Silence & darkness. 

I don't dislike nighttime. Perhaps I prefer the nighttime more. No matter how suffering & torturing it is, it's still the real me, and I'm more than prepared to accept whatever personalities I have. 

Well, just a thought. It's nighttime now. Thus, crap.

Unedited pictures of Klang's sky - approximately at 7.00 p.m.

I never know Klang's sky can be so beautiful. Or rather, I never know the sky can make such an awesome view. I don't really look at the sky, with the exception of me traveling in a car or when I'm just spacing out. Mother nature is pretty amazing, isn't it? Sometimes our lives had been occupying our minds, and we constantly forget to stop for a while, take a short break, and look at things we used to ignore. We learn new things everyday, undeniably. Today, when I stepped out of the "box" and looked at the sky, I realize that life is not all about what we want to achieve, but it's also about what matters to us, and what's surrounding us. 

It's pretty fascinating, isn't it? :)

The holidays had been treating me fairly well. This time, time is on my side. And when I come to think about it, I realized that it's about time I take a short break from everything. We never know what will happen tomorrow, so I might as well live life to the fullest with constant reassurance. My holidays is all about traveling, food, leisure, entertainment, socialization, and a whole lot of other things that I did not have the chance to pursue & catch up with. Giving my brain & my mind some break would be a great thing (or rather, a great decision). Getting out of my "mind box" now perhaps might just be the best solution. 

It's only the 3rd of the holidays. I've got a loooooooooong way to go :)

p/s: I've got a pretty bad nightmare yesterday. Again, it was a dream about me being hunted & chased. I've read about dream interpretation and I know that this type of dream has something to do with stress & pressure. And the funny thing is - I'm on a long holiday. 

My first semester of degree officially ended today yesterday, to be precise, looking at the time now (12.09 a.m.). I'm haunted by the same feeling & emotion all over again. Every.Single.Time. I can't seem to shake this feeling off but seriously, it's devouring me and now it's digesting and spreading in me all over again.

Honestly speaking, I've taken huge risks in my first semester of degree. I've challenged everything. Most importantly, I've challenged myself. Answering if I've won this challenge or not, it's still a question mark yet to be answered and I definitely want to know it. As soon as possible. Because it's really driving me crazy. I'm not really regretting all the decisions I've made because I know I made them all for a reason and I know that was what I really wanted to do. The feeling is like placing an 'all in' on the gamble desk, and waiting for the final cards to be flipped over. It's really nerve-wrecking. 

3 months holiday. I know perfectly well what I'm going to do in these 3 months. I've been continuously on the go for the past one year and I think I really deserve a break. Perhaps the no-rest journey had been wearing off my energy, and I'm exhausted. I just need a break. Desperately needing one. So that I can just clear my mind off unnecessary emotions and just dig in to what is good for me. 

I do not want to place any bet. I will just wait for the next card to be flipped over first.

In the middle of night
I was far from the flight
They freely pass me by

Then I'm totally out of space and seeking my friends
Is there anyone who needs me?
I hear what you say
There's the tiniest hope
You can change yourself
If you want to
Then you find the door
We can walk from the past
I was a frog in a well


Smile like you've never done
I'm so fine
Then you hold me tight under bad weather
If you understand why
I was crying on the river
So dwell on my self
All the time


And you follow the light
I was far from the flight
They freely pass me by

Then I'm totally out of space and seeking my friends
Is there anyone who needs me?

I hear what you say
There's the tiniest hope
You can change yourself
If you want to
Then you find the door
We can walk from the past
I was a frog in a well

Smile like you've never done
I'm so fine
Then you hold me tight under bad weather
If you understand why
I was crying on the river so
Dwell on my self
All the time 

OLA! :D I've got a love-hate relationship with my hair. Sometimes it's all over the place and no matter what I do it won't stay obediently in shape; and sometimes it curls to the perfect shape that I want. Time to slaughter my fringe :P

So how's everything? (Typical ice-breaking conversation) I'm having my really, really short break now before facing the last battlefield of Business Communication and this carefree break is definitely not making me any motivated. I feel like the whole semester just ended and I'm currently enjoying my holiday.....NOT. Paranoid to the extreme! The worst part is knowing that you can do nothing about it is definitely heart-throbbing. But, oh well.

Recently I'm thinking of the major I'm currently pursuing. It's not hard to understand why people tend to be unimpressed when I tell them that I'm a Communication student. Well, you see, doctors save lives; engineers invent new machines for a better lifestyle; what about communication? Undoubtedly, I would say it's really awesome and I really like what I'm studying but when I look from a viewpoint of 'benefiting mankind & society', it makes me stumble. It's not really clean, honestly. And constantly, I feel like this industry is often the tool. Yes, it makes drastic changes, but, will they all really benefit everyone? "Advertising makes people buy things they don't need." Hmmmm.

Well, anyway, let's skip this talk about education mankind now and talk about my life instead. There's so much to update I don't know where to begin! So the best way I've figure out is to give you tit bits of what had been happening.

And so, we had this 'mock pitch' for an AirAsia account and we won :) The gift? Chocolate. Currently still residing in my fridge. Untouched.

Later that weekend, I strode straight off to Melaka for a short visit :) I had one Media Audience Research Proposal due next week & Global Network Presentation to prepare. So imagine me bringing my work back to my hometown. Real awkward. But guess what? I survived. Not sure if I've done awesome, but I survived. And that's the only thing that matters  :)

The Yong Tau Foo in Melaka is reaaaaaaaaally nice! Affordable price with fresh materials. Please do try our if you are planning to visit Melaka for the coming holiday! :D

Final presentation done (barely survived the tiring few days back traveling tro & fro Melaka & leaving my bed for 2 consecutive days)! Now with only one report & finals left and am done with my first degree semester. I won't write too much on how I feel for my degree but I would just sum it all up with one word - fruitful. Degree has push me up & urged me to grow up more. It was definitely no easy task but I enjoyed every moment of it. Education is really fun, isn't it? :)

(I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to put down Media Audiences & Global Network yet).

One of the two new subject I met this semester and am loving every single bit of it although it was really mind-twisting and challenging. But I've took every risk I planned to take and I've got no regrets :)

It's 6.06 a.m. and I'm awake. A full blast 12 hours sleep. Everything was paid off :)

Have a good week, everyone! :)

p/s: Today is a holiday for me and I don't intend to do anything else but rest & play. I deserve it hoho!

I used to have this really bad habit of being too involved with my past (that explains the ultimately high expectations towards myself), but somehow, I got a huge slap in the face almost 3 months ago, telling me to wake up and stop looking backwards.

I think I would prefer to let go now. Lingering too much on it will do me no good. I've started to begin anew, and I find the result awesomely amazing. There's less stress & pressure in myself now but the best part is the fact that I am able to do everything willingly which returns results exceeding my initial expectations. I'm really glad, somehow. 

I've seen people still lingering to their pasts. I used to. But I think I've changed a little after the huge slap, realizing that things have changed and lingering to the histories will definitely not help. So I decided to step my foot on the present ground and do what I want to do now. I want myself to get out of the darker side of my history self and held my chins high for now, because being involve with anything from the past makes me overthink so awfully much. What I'm going to do now is just to learn from what had happened, and make the best out of it through the reality I'm in now.

Yeah. I think that's what I'm going to do.

There would always be one very special lesson we will gain through every experience we went through. True, useful & meaningful journey is one thing, but what I mean is one very special element in an experience is the one that will give you the real satisfaction.

Previous campaign, no doubt, had given me lots of useful knowledge about all sort of things - depending on the angle you look at it - but personally, I think that the most meaningful experience I had obtained was bonds. It's not easy for people to trust you, especially when you owe them something; but for people to actually giving you the support and being nice to you even when you owe them something huge, that's really something. 

That's what we call real support. Something that people give you in the hope to help you, not solely for themselves. Honestly, this type of support is definitely nearing extinction. 

A huge thank you. Sincerely.